THIS CONVERSATION IS BIGGER THAN JOHN TORY
Kathleen Wynne
I like John Tory. I came to know him as a strong, steady voice for Toronto over 20 years ago. And although for a few years we were in head-to-head political competition, there was always a decency about him. For sure, he and I have disagreed fundamentally on some things but during my term as Premier we worked well together for the most part and I consider him a political friend.
So I am not writing this out of any malice toward John Tory.
But now that he has removed the chain of office from around his neck, I have to ask:
Have we mourned and bemoaned his downfall enough now? Have we thought about why there was such an outbreak of pleading to ask him to stay? Have we considered that the pleading heard from many might have been a plea to give John Tory a pass in the hope that they would also be accorded the same courtesy? Can we acknowledge that if we let our affection for this individual cloud our assessment of the situation, we risk putting more young people at risk?
John Tory is not claiming that he is a victim in this situation. He has rightly admitted that he made a grave mistake and has taken responsibility. That is all to the good.
But here’s the thing: John and I are almost exactly the same age. I was born in 1953, he in 1954, both in Ontario. We have lived the same changes in cultural norms. Our children are roughly the same age. We came of age in a very different time than we now live in. We are Boomers who lived through the sexual revolution of the 60’s as young teenagers—we both lived those changes.
But maybe more changed for some of us than others through those years.
1974 was a very bad year for me. I was 21 and confused about everything in my life. I had dropped out of university to continue my struggle to make a bad relationship with a beautiful but tortured man work. It never did. I took a job at the local community newspaper selling classified ads and basically felt like I had failed at life before I had begun.
One of the shards of light in that year was that I got to know one of the older reporters at the paper. As I think of him now, he was a pretty sad character. He was the best writer on the staff of the paper but clearly had missed his chance on a bigger stage. He treated me kindly and even asked me to write about a couple of local events—I still harboured the notion that I might try to write for a living at that point so I was thrilled.
So when he asked me to come with him to Stratford for the day, I remember feeling beholden. I remember thinking that it would be fine even though he was at least 30 years older than I was and in fact, because he was 30 years older, there surely could not be any problem.
He was older than my father who made it clear that he absolutely disapproved of me even considering being alone with this guy. Not being inclined to obedience, I went with the reporter on the day trip and upon our return, when we went back to his apartment, I realized that I was wrong and Dad was right. I was naïve; he was looking for something else and I was susceptible to him because he had the power to help me.
I have always looked back on that time with embarrassment and some shame. Shame that I didn’t know better. Embarrassment that I didn’t extricate myself sooner even when I knew my dad was right.
In 1974 there was no recourse for me and to be honest, I felt responsible for my own decision and am fairly sure I would not have taken action against him anyway.
But here’s the thing. That reporter should have known better then. Even then, he should have known that I was way, way too young to be involved with him. He also had the ability to affect my position at the paper because of his senior status.
There is absolutely no excuse in 2023 for the same behaviour. The men (and sometimes but less frequently, the women) who abuse their power in this way over their staff or their subordinates must be held accountable. The politicians and the powerful who lie about their loyalty and their perfect family lives do a disservice to every young person trying to make sense of a confusing and difficult world.
As Premier, I dealt with a number of situations with colleagues, directed investigations, took action and experienced the political and emotional costs of similar abuses of power. I hope that the victims of those situations felt supported.
John Tory and the men like him do not need our pity or our protection. They can expect that because we are all imperfect humans; we will respond with compassion. We can only hope that our compassion will be enough to help him and his family through the difficult days ahead.
More than that, we should hope that young women (or men) in similar situations feel that they have the support and options for recourse that they need because the norms of 1974 should be a thing of the distant past.
. . .
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Kathleen Wynne - Kathleen Wynne was first elected to the Ontario legislature in 2003 as the MPP for Don Valley West. She was Ontario’s 25th Premier and leader of the Ontario Liberal Party from January 2013 to June 2018. Kathleen has dedicated her professional life to building a better province for the people of Ontario. She is guided by the values and principles that knit the province of Ontario together: fairness, diversity, collaboration and creativity.
The views and opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of Air Quotes Media. Read more opinion contributions via QUOTES from Air Quotes Media.